BREAKING: Bear Wins Re-Election, and Bellyrubs

After a rather boring campaign, voters decided to give the Bear Administration another year in office. He defeated Snoopy in the Doggo primary and a neighborhood cat, with 92% of the vote to the cat’s 8%, with 99% of precincts reporting. He ran (or “waddled”) on a record that saw the ban of kill shelters, the expansion of dog toy access, and the appointment of a Beagle to the Supreme Court.

In foreign affairs, the Bear Administration succeeded in forcing the resignation of President Vladimir V. Putin, after President Putin allowed Vice President Cinnamon to sit on his lap, and he realized the errors in his Presidency.

President Bear has not said if he will run for a third term next year.

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Preceded by: "Is It 'All Men'?"

Succeeded by: "Dear Progressives, Was It Worth It?"